Your Past Does Not Define Your Future

We all are, in one way or the other, had been hurt in the past or experienced something bad or made a bad choice that puts us in a bad situation or relationship right now. Though it is true that we cannot change the past, the good news is we still have the present. The present is our only chance to repair the mistakes that we did in the past, to allow healing for wounds inflicted in the past, etc.

As another day unfolds, our “present” will become our yesterday. What we do now affects our future. Our past, however dark it may be, however painful it may be, it does not have to define us. Sure, our actions in the past affect our tomorrow, but there is still hope to change our future, but we just need to take charge of our future.

This article is for everyone who has failed, for everyone who thinks that life will not change. This article is about hope that there is still a bright future that awaits us.

The following are steps or actions suggested by Bo Sanchez to guide us on what we can do so that we can gain freedom, receive healing for past wounds, and live a full life.

1. Be Honest For A Change. Get real. Admit that you can’t control yourself anymore. You may ask yourself questions like where are you failing in your life or what personal weaknesses are causing your failure.
2. Write Your Story In Blood. Bo suggested that you write your story beginning when you were born, then your significant moments, both negative and positive. This is your life story…write everything…your joys, your hurts, how your bad choices affected you and the people around you. Don’t worry if you can’t finish it in one sitting. Just write anyway until it is finished. This may take days or weeks. It does not matter. The purpose of this exercise is to aid you to get real even more, to lead you to a deeper awareness of yourself, and to be part of your grieving process, and finally to give you motive for change.
3. Stop Blame. If you are broke right now, you are accountable. If you are in a bad relationship, you are accountable. Though it does not necessarily mean you caused all your misery, for it is possible that someone did, but it does not change the fact that you are accountable. You have the choice on how to respond to the situation, either negatively or positively.
4. Tell God About Your Reality. Tell him about your past and give your will and life to God.
5. Choose Accountability Partners. Changing oneself is difficult, but it is possible. Getting rid of bad habits or getting out of a bad situation is not easy. Other people who were successful did not do it on their own but needed some sort of help. People who were able to get rid of their addictions or received healing from past hurts did it by depending on God, surrounding themselves with positive people or joining a community or support group (option # 1. going to regular counseling, 2. joining a 12-step program, 3. forming a caring group.), and serving God (through this, they changed their self-labels or how they defined themselves). The qualities needed for an effective support group are availability (to meet regularly), acceptability (embrace you in your weakness and love you until you are healed), and accountability.
6. Share Your Reality Consistently. If you choose option 1 #2, you need to attend your meetings or with the counselor regularly. If you choose #3, you should do the following: share your goal; discuss the qualities of an effective support group; discuss the flow of each meeting; discuss the frequency, time, and place of meeting.
7. Work On Yourself Daily. Prioritize your healing daily. Nourish your spirit daily. Read spiritual books or listen to spiritual teaching tapes daily or any other self-help books that will aid in improving your self-esteem. Call your sponsor or counselor or support group friends daily. Write your journal and read your life dreams daily.
8. Love Yourself Daily. Meet your spiritual needs daily. Say no to anything or anyone that harms you. Walk away from relationships that degrade or demean you. Throw away anything in your life that does not make you grow as a person. Seek out the best stuff that will inspire you, that build you up, that make you a better person whether that be experiences or books, or seminars, or movies or relationships. Improve your character daily.
9. Ask Forgiveness And Make Amends.
10. Forgive Those Who Have Hurt You. Total healing comes only if you ask forgiveness from other people whom you have hurt and forgiving those who have you. You need also to forgive yourself. Before you can extend forgiveness to others, you have to forgive yourself first. Just like loving, forgiving is also a decision, not an emotion, not a feeling. You may not feel like forgiving, but decide to forgive anyway, the feelings will just follow.
11. Help Others In The Path Of Healing. Your healing will not be complete without reaching out and healing others as well.
12. Dream Your Future Home. Write your life dreams in full details (for your spiritual life, your professional life, your financial life, your family or relationships). Read them every day and make a commitment to make your dreams come true. Don’t just dream about it, do it.

There is still hope…and change is the key. Do not let your past define your future. What kind of future we will have is really up to us. It means the choice is really ours to make.

Life is what we make it.